So I moved out this summer – and it has been FABULOUS. I love my flat, I love not having to tell anyone if I will be in for dinner, or what time I will be back in the evenings. But over the last few months of fending for myself, feeding myself, cleaning everything myself, and being more adult than I was – I have realised a few things that really SUCK about moving out of your family house…
So let’s write some of them down:
1 . You actually have to pay to live somewhere… and that REALLY REALLY sucks.
Suddenly all your money each month just disappears and you are poor and you haven’t even turned the heating on yet.
2 . To add insult to injury you have bills. LOTS of bills. Internet, Sky, water… And you suddenly realise why your parents used to yell at you to turn off your lights. And now that you have to pay to keep your lights on – you become a light nazi too.
3 . The fridge doesn’t magically refill itself.
Unless you physically go and purchase produce, then every time you open the fridge, it won’t have magically refilled. (Wasn’t that the best feeling – coming downstairs and opening the fridge on the weekend and finding so many yummy things after the mother has been food shopping… good old days).
4 . You have to hoover.
/ other household tidying. And there is noone to congratulate you for doing simple household chores. You don’t feel like you are being super helpful and the model daughter. This is now the only option. You have to hoover, without recognition.
5 . You have to remember to do things like taking your sheets out the washing machine with enough time to dry before you need to put them back on your bed that evening.
Otherwise, you will be sleeping with no sheet, and just a duvet with no cover (yes – I have done this many times).
6 . You need to organise your own life now – be an adult – do adult stuff, such as booking your own appointment at the dentist, all by yourself. Booking your car in for an MOT. Register to vote in a new location. Find a new doctors surgery. I still need to do all these things.
7 . There is no one to look after you and fuss over you with chicken soup when you are ill.
If you are sick and overcome with a cold in your new flat – yelling “MUUUUMMMMMMMMYYY – PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME TEA PLEASE AND SOME CRUMPETS TOO” doesn’t seem to work…
8 . You had to leave certain childhood things at home.
To make your new place seem cool and adult, you start a new life without some of your favourite things you have had for 100000 years – instead swapping it for cool new furniture and candles. So all those teddybears, old school uniform, and childhood memorabilia have to stay at home. (let’s be honest – this is MAINLY to remind your parents that you used to live there, and that YOU CAN COME HOME AT ANY MOMENT AND IT IS STILL YOUR BEDROOM OK. A good way to stop them renting out your room to strangers.)
9 . You have to do every single piece of washing up. And drying up. And putting away. There are no siblings to split the tasks with.
10 . You have to call your Mum every 5 mins when doing something around the house such as cleaning or washing – “ok but what spray do I use on the coffee table”; “at what temperature do I wash my thin kinda sheer blouse”; “can I use shampoo to hand wash things?”; “how do you descale a kettle”.
11 . You can’t take the family dogs with you – s0 you are now dogless.
12 . You can’t steal a bottle of their wine to take to a dinner party to give your hosts. Now you actually have to have your shit together and remember to pick one up en route.
13 . If you can’t find something in your flat – it will be lost forever. Your Mum won’t know where it is.
14 . No free taxi service when you need an emergency lift to the tube.
15 . You don’t get to see your family everyday – although it is definitely time to be a grown up (who knows how to clean her own oven), it sucks not to see your fam everyday.
16 . Taking. The. Bins. Out.
Coming soon – Reasons why moving out of your parents’ house is the best
(because otherwise my boyfriend thinks I hate living with him)