Today is day eleven and I feel like I am right back to where we started a couple of weeks ago.
I am just feeling like the most anxious ball of stress right now and I don’t even know if I have one happy thing today let alone five.
I don’t even want to write this post because I don’t want to have any negative posts on my happiness posts – but you know – that wouldn’t be honest or real life. So here we go.
I woke up this morning feeling unbelievably anxious. I don’t know why – no reason really, just life. My alarm went off at 7am – snoozed it for a bit as I am not sleeping that well at the moment – next thing you know it was 9am. Must have turned alarm off rather than snoozed. Great. Super. I HATE when that happens. Luckily I didn’t have any meetings I was supposed to be at at 9 – but it just meant that I was now 2 hours behind and I hadn’t even got up. And I got this overwhelming sense of panic. Like pure dread. And so what did I do – I literally hid under my covers feeling SO anxious for another 30 mins – watching stupid videos on my timelines to numb my anxiety. When all I should have done was got up, got in the shower, and started my day.
But I stayed in bed, getting more and more anxious, feeling more and more panic stricken with life and failing and stress.
Eventually I pulled myself out of bed – heart palpations – loving life. Made some toast and a crumpet (YAS – ohh lets make that a point of happiness) and then I started my day – about 3 and a half hours delayed. Anyway – today felt awful – I just felt like a was walking around in a daze.
Met Darcey to take some photos for a sponsored blog post (that I need to be writing and editing right now – but it is 1:12am and I need to do this post to keep up) and the photos looked awful, my face looked awful – so puffy and tired, my hair is greasy even though I washed it like yesterday. No idea why everything was going wrong. I am exhausted – but so is everyone in the world – how do they all look so gorgeous and fresh all the time, and I look like a gruffalo. Then I had an event all afternoon which was lovely but I just feel so stressed all day.
Anyway – somehow it is 1:15am and I don’t feel like I have accomplished anything today.
But lets try this list
5 Things That Made Me Happy Today:
1 . I had a crumpet – one of my favourite things.
2. Darcey and I got some lunch together before shooting – food was awful and overpriced (not even being grumpy – that is true) but nice to catch up with her.
3 . Went to The Ned (the swankiest place in town right now) for dinner with the So..! Fragrance girls and some of my favs which was lovely to catch up with them!
4 . Got a taxi home from the dinner which always makes me happy – I LOVE taxi’s in the evening – when you are getting tired and you just want to switch off and be driven home like a princess.
5 . It didn’t rain today? ooooh – its only 88 days till Christmas.
God – that was boring – I AM SO HOPEFUL THAT TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER DAY.
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you’re only a day away.