It is Day Five.
FIVEEE GOLLLDDDD RINGGGS.
I wish that was one of my points today. 5 gold rings would be great right now. Even one gold ring would do nicely right now.
Ok so we are onto our 5th day of our 5 a day 5 times a week project. Surely this must be lucky?? AHH IT IS 9:55!! SO MANY 5s. High fives all round.
If you want to catch up on any of the previous posts then just go to this little section of the blog HERE and have a little read through.
Today is Tuesday 19th September. I am home from Paris and I am currently in my home home rather than my flat (I swear it seems like I never see my boyfriend – I promise that I do – but tomorrow is Zoë’s birthday and it is tradition to always wake up together on birthdays – so I am staying here tonight and he is at a work thing this evening anyway) (PLUS he is going away on Thursday – Sunday to play golf *yawn* with all his man friends… BUT ITS FINE – I WILL UPLOAD A SELFIE OF US TOMORROW TO PROVE WE SEE EACH OTHER SOMETIMES)
Mood of the day is ok actually – had a lovely rest of the trip with the Wallis Fashion girls, wandering around the streets of Parieeeee. Even if the weather was crappy for the whole day until we GOT IN THE CAB TO GO TO THE EUROSTAR.
However, if I am being honest, which I will always be in these posts – I am feeling a bit numb towards my social media and blog right now, which sucks. My instagram photo this morning bombed. Like – 500 likes. ALL DAY. So annoying.
This is the culprit of my misery right now. It isn’t about the physical number of likes – it is just frustrating that I am not reaching my audience and I don’t know how to change it. If everyone saw it and didn’t like it that is fine because that is their choice and I respect that. But its the fact that NOONE SEES IT SO DOESN’T EVEN GET AN OPINION ON IT.
I am not having a meltdown – I am calm, I promise – I just find it so annoying that nobody sees my posts as INSTAGRAM DOESNT PUT IT ON PEOPLES NEWFEEDS. But its fine. Its FINE. Its all gooooood. Chilllled.
But now I am having anxiety that nobody is reading my blog and that people are bored of this mini series already. My first meltdown post got loads of views and people seemed to really love reading it (I know this is because people are nosey and it was a huge change from my normal posts) but then as the Happy Project continues, my readers seemed to have dropped off each day – and I am worried that I am boring the hell out of everyone. That everything I do is just not quite good enough.
I won’t stop me from doing this – I set myself a challenge and I will stick to this – because I am stubborn af.
I am just annoyed at myself. I didn’t start this series for page views, or for any form of validation, or for any other reason that just so that I could start to appreciate what I have in life, every single day, and stop getting so incredibly affected by Instagram and that petty side of life, and to get back into regular blogging (which I am LOVING). And yet, I have managed to let it all get a bit on top of me again, and letting this therapeutic way of blogging, stress me out. BAD JESSICA.
But I am just doubting myself right now. Which is silly and unhealthy and mainly just super unhelpful.
So I just need to get over myself – keep writing down what makes me happy – keep enjoying myself. Joie de vivre.
Lets get onto the list then shall we?
5 Things That Made Me Happy Today:
1 . I got to spend the afternoon with my family and MY LITTLE PUPPIES. (Disclaimer – neither of my dogs are puppies. Quite the opposite. One is 13 I think and the other is like 5/6). But once a puppy, always a puppy, am I right?! MAN I miss having dogs. Alex – if you are reading this – CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET A PUPPY ALREADY PLEASE OK THANK YOU.
P.S. He doensn’t always look this much like an alien. He is just in a weird mood and decided to pretend not to have any ears…
This is the queen and the best old lady puppy ever:
2 . Had a fab time in Paris – even if I was ridiculously over tired today. Ended up not going to bed until 2am and then was up at 8 am, having only had 4 hours sleep the night before also. So I wasn’t any fun to play with. BUT we explored, I fell in love again with this city. I found the rose line from The DaVinci Code and that made my inner nerd super happy. We ate at an incredible restaurant called Pink Mamma which was BEAUTIFUL – I mean look at the bathroom for god sake. I ate way too much burrata.
3 . My sister, whenever I am not at home, hides two toys in my bed. Without fail. It is a weird tradition. Sometimes they are in suitcases. Sometimes they are just in my handbag. Who knows. AND no matter how many times this happens – it makes us both lol so much. They are weird soft toys. One is a Flynn Rider doll thing and one is Pascal – actually a Christmas Pascal (even weirder) (both characters from Disney’s masterpiece of a film – Tangled. If you don’t know this film – go educate yourself immediately – IT IS FAB).
4 . I am watching Friends in bed. Life doesn’t get better than that.
5 . I treated myself to an uber home from St Pancras station today. I say treated myself – I do this a lot. But it made me happy to not be on a tube with 3 bags in rush hour.
So there you have it – another 5 happy things. I am off to bed now – absolutely blooooomin’ exhausted and another very early start for me tomorrow.
Night petals xx
Motivational quote today – never a truer word spoken: